Many people are curious about anal sex and would like to give it a try.
There is a great amount of fear, however, around the topic: fear that it will be painful, that it will hurt the anal region or, worse, that it will “make it all loose”.
Some people have tried to be penetrated in the anus, but felt pain or discomfort and gave up.
Anal sex should not cause pain, but instead pleasure for both partners. Also, it should not hurt or harm the anal region – if done the correct way.
The pain may occur because the anus is not as lubricated as the vagina, and also because it is a narrower place with a large force of closure in the sphincter (which is necessary to retain our faeces and intestinal gases).
It is this narrowing, precisely, what brings pleasure to men. Because the anus is a sensitive place, with high blood circulation and innervation, anal penetration can also give pleasure to anyone who is penetrated by the penis or other objects.
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Tips for not feeling pain during anal sex
I will now tell you some tips for you not to feel pain during anal sex. But before that, please note: don’t forget to wear a condom!
The anus absorbs secretions contaminated by viruses and bacteria more easily, so you should be extra careful.
The penis can become contaminated with bacteria from the anal region, which causes infections. Sexually transmitted infections (formerly called “sexually transmitted diseases”) are also transmitted by anal sex.
Now the long-awaited tips:
1) Before anything, you should WANT to have anal sex
Don’t just do it to please your partner: if you have no desire, you will not be able to get aroused and relax your body and anus so you can feel pleasure.
If you don’t want to have anal sex, don’t do it! No one is forced to have sex in whichever way.
2) Relax all throughout the body
The body should be totally relaxed for any sexual practice, otherwise it will release adrenaline, a hormone that prevents the body from feeling sexual pleasure. In anal sex this is not different.
A good way to relax your body is to breathe slowly and deeply, and to indulge in all pleasurable sensations.
Relaxation is everything when it comes to sex. So relax and enjoy!
3) Use a good lubricant
It is impossible to have anal sex without the use of a lubricant.
The anus does not have any lubrication, so make sure to use a good quality and water-based lubricant.
WARNING:
- Do not use any “home alternatives” such as body lotions, cooking oil or butter.
- Never use saliva: saliva helps to digest food, not to lubricate anything.
- If you don’t use an adequate lubricant, there can be health risks!
How about the multifunctional desensitizing gels sold in sex shops?
You can absolutely use these gels! They decrease the painful sensitivity of the anus, but keep the pleasure and sensations.
And if the person feels that the penetration is too strong or hurting, they can interrupt the sexual act without getting hurt.
What you CAN’T use: anaesthetic creams!
Anaesthetic creams completely remove the sensitivity of the anal region, so if there is bleeding, cutting or if the penetration is very violent, the person will not feel it and may suffer more serious injuries.
4) Look for a comfortable position
The position you will choose is essential, as it will allow you to relax your body and anus.
A good tip is to lay on your side or on your stomach with a pillow right below the belly, so the butt can be lifted.
Looking into doggy style position? It’s a bad choice, at least for the first time.
The person might feel a certain fear of receiving the penis, and ends up “running away”, or tightening the butt, which makes it more difficult.
But if you have already tried this position and like it, carry on.
5) Relax the anus
The anus has two sphincters – the internal and the external – in addition to being surrounded by the muscles of the pelvic floor.
For penetration to happen, these structures should be relaxed. If the anus is closed, any penetration attempt may hurt and injure the sphincter, which is really not cool.
We should also take the anal reflex into account: when we touch the anus it automatically closes.
So we need to wait for the anus to open again to try to penetrate it.
How to relax the anus for anal sex?
It is important that, at the time of anal sex, you have a lot of foreplay and caresses in the region. The anus is sensitive, and caresses are welcome.
The partner must go slowly: insert one finger first, always waiting for the anal reflex to pass.
Only then should they introduce the penis, and gently. Once the penis has gone all the way in, they can perform any desired movements.
But who will really decide the pace, how far the penis will go and any other details is the person who is offering this special part of the body in the sexual practice.
The two partners should move calmly and respect one another.
Real sex X anal sex as seen in porn
Don’t base your anal sex performance on porn.
Remember: porn is a movie, a fantasy, that is, a lie with the aim of entertaining the viewer.
In films, anal sex seems very easy, natural and ends up being very aggressive.
And it is so for one reason: the people who receive the penis or another object in the anus were prepared beforehand with the help of anal dilators and lots of lubricant.
Many times the scene is recorded with several cuts, which are then combined and edited.
So forget what you saw in movies and go slowly, respecting the limits of your partner.
Read also: 18 tips on how to drive a man crazy in bed
A little more on anal plugs, vibrators and accessories
There are several anal plugs available in sex shops.
These devices can be introduced in the anus to relax the muscles, so that the anus “gets used” to receiving the penis.
There are also vibrators which are especially suitable for the anus, relaxing the region and improving sensitivity.
Be careful: only buy and use accessories made exclusively for the anus, otherwise there can be a serious health risk.
You do not want to end the night in an operation room, right?
Taking care of the anus
We must always take care of this region, but anyone who practices anal sex must be extra careful. It can be interesting to see a proctologist and a pelvic physical therapist.
The proctologist will check for possible injuries (existing or new) and treat them if necessary.
The pelvic physical therapist will work on the muscles of the pelvic floor through exercises which are specific to each person in order to avoid muscle weakness and low muscle tone.
Strong pelvic floor muscles with good motor coordination and resistance will make anal sex more pleasurable while also avoiding injuries.
If you have any injury in the anal region such as haemorrhoidal disease (haemorrhoids) or anal fissure anal, make sure to treat these issues before practicing anal sex.
But after all, does anal sex cause looseness in the anus or other injuries?
If done right, following instructions, anal sex is not going to cause any trouble.
But if it is very aggressive, introducing sharp objects in the anus or when there is a previous health condition (like haemorrhoids, anal fissures, etc.), this practice can cause problems.
Relaxing is key: forced penetration into a closed anus can hurt the region.
Involuntary loss of faeces or intestinal gases (faecal incontinence) will happen in cases of trauma to the anal sphincters (for example, introducing sharp objects).
Remember to only use objects that are specific to the anal region, which can be found in any sex shop.
How many times can I practice?
There is no consensus on how many times per week or per month a person can perform anal sex, but it is important to follow the instructions mentioned above each time that you do.
How to tell my partner that I want to have anal sex
In spite of being an old practice, anal sex is unfortunately still a taboo. It is common for people to be ashamed to talk about it with their partner.
The couple should be in the habit of talking about sexuality. Not only about anal sex, but about all aspects of the sexual practice. A person needs to know what their partner likes and does not like.
If you wish to practice anal sex, you should tell your partner. But you can also give some signals, for example: during foreplay, you can lightly caress your partner’s anus, either with your fingers or with your penis.
The woman can approach her anus to the partner’s penis, indicating that she wants to be penetrated there.
The most important is to feel happy and well-balanced about your sexuality.
If you have any problems, seek the help of a health professional who is specialized in Human Sexuality.
Following these tips, you and your partner won’t help but feeling pleasure!
Sources:
- Does anal sex have any health risks? (2015).
https://nhs.uk/chq/Pages/3050.aspx?CategoryID=118 - Anal sex and HIV risk. (2016).
https://cdc.gov/hiv/risk/analsex.html - Can anal sex have any long term effects on my body? (2020).
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/ask-experts/can-anal-sex-have-any-long-term-effects-on-my-body-ive-heard-that-it-can-cause-anal-leakage-later-in-life-and-anal-prolapse-is-this-true - Anal fissure. (n.d.).
https://fascrs.org/patients/diseases-and-conditions/a-z/anal-fissure
