When in the middle of a sexual encounter, which is supposed to be pleasurable, you suddenly realize that your penis is still soft. This may make you feel uncomfortable.
If this situation sounds familiar to you, keep calm as there is a solution to solve this problem.
Let’s first understand why the penis becomes soft and will not harden. This can be due to organic and/or psychological factors.
Psychological factors
Stress
Stress causes hormonal changes in the body that may hinder the passage of blood to the penis.
Anxiety
Up to a certain degree, anxiety can be normal and even healthy for human beings, but when in excess it can be harmful.
The mechanism of anxiety causes adrenaline to be released in the blood stream, keeping your blood vessels narrow.
Because of this, the blood does not reach the penis as it should.
Depression
Depression also causes hormonal changes, mood swings, discouragement, sadness, and lack of interest.
What was once pleasurable and/or attractive is no longer the case.
Sexual desire ends up being affected and consequently the erection is also compromised.
Traumatic factors
Sexual abuse and bad sexual experiences can change cognitive aspects, such as thoughts, in addition to raising the level of stress and anxiety and consequently interfering in the erection.
Physiological factors
Alcohol and drugs
The excessive use of alcohol and drugs, including tobacco, can obstruct the blood from coming to the penis and can therefore interfere in the erection.
Obesity
People with excess weight are more likely to have cardiovascular problems, which contribute to erection issues.
Diabetes
Diabetes compromises the functioning of the nerves and blood vessels that help stiffen the penis.
Cardiovascular diseases
Hypertension, atherosclerosis, and strokes may impair erections due to how these diseases interfere in blood circulation.
Neurological problems
Multiple sclerosis, lesions in the spinal cord and spinal nerve degeneration can prevent the arrival of nerve impulses to the penis.
Medical treatments
Antidepressants, antihypertensive, and anxiolytic drugs, as well as drugs for the treatment of diabetes, can also affect erectile function.
These factors can prevent you from having an erection from the very beginning of the sexual relation, or will make you have an erection only for a short while.
There is also a chance that the erection will only be partially achieved.
Many emotional factors are also associated to the idea that the penis is everything in a sexual relation, so without the penis one cannot do anything, that there will be no pleasure or that the sexual relationship sexual will completely end if there is no erection.
This adds a lot of responsibility to the penis. Remember that the most important is to enjoy each other’s bodies, where there are several erogenous areas which are also able to provide pleasure.
What to do
Observe the frequency with which this occurs
First, it is important to observe the frequency with which this issue occurs.
If this has happened to you once or rarely happens at all, don’t worry about it. Don’t focus on it, as you were just maybe having a bad day.
But if you still want to enjoy the moment, focus on the various things you can do apart from penetration.
Pay attention to the body, explore the senses, increase kisses and caresses.
If this still won’t lead to an erection, don’t worry because sex is not made purely of penetration.
Caresses, kisses, and oral sex are all very pleasant practices and both you and your partner can find a lot of satisfaction in them.
If these issues happen more frequently, or in almost all sexual relations, the best would be to look for a health professional for an evaluation.
Doctors can evaluate, discard or treat these issues in case there is a physiological problem. Psychologists can assess and treat any psychological issues that might be interfering with your sex life.
Until around 50 or 55 years of age, more than 90% of cases of erectile dysfunction have underlying psychological reasons.
Look for a psychologist or sex expert who will help you solve these problems completely.
If there is a need, they will be able to refer you to a physical evaluation with a doctor.
Remember also that the great majority of cases involving sex problems are solved with the help of a sex therapist.
Read also: 3 quick exercises to get harder erections
Sources:
- Disfunção erétil: resultados do estudo da vida sexual do brasileiro
https://www.scielo.br/j/ramb/a/sLYk5P4LGDh7Qf3y95rYbKy/?lang=pt - Disfunção erétil Secundária: Aceitação de Tratamento e a Determinação de Etiologia pelo Paciente
https://www.rbsh.org.br/revista_sbrash/article/download/865/777/ - Caracterização e aspectos psicológicos de pacientes com disfunção erétil
http://pepsic.bvsalud.org/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S1516-36872020000300010&lng=pt&nrm=iso&tlng=pt - What is Erectile Dysfunction?
https://www.urologyhealth.org/urology-a-z/e/erectile-dysfunction-(ed) - Erectile Dysfunction (ED)
https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/urologic-diseases/erectile-dysfunction/all-content
